Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
