We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
