I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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