you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
