Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
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I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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