I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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