yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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