the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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