if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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