You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
