addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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