I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
