totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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