We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
