Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize