On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
