Don't make out with my wife yet
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
