Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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