He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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