i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
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I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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