Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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