i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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