Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Randomize
