Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
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There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart