True but thats because hes a fetus.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single