dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.