Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
we're so committed to being not committed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
