Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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