i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
