Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
