if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
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I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
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I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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