If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
