it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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