if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
