Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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