My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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