i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
