sorry about calling you the devil all night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
