Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
