We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
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