well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
