take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
