yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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