I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
