I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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