xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize