All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
