Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
