So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
