For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You are a genius and a whore.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
