so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
