we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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