My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
