that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
