The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize