In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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