so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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